More time

Tonight I went to a movie that I wasn't ready to see. A good friend gave me the book to read and I couldn't put it down a couple of weeks ago. We talked about how the ending in the book and the ending in the movie were very different and I thought that I wanted to see it. I will say that the movie was done very well...and it wasn't the movie, per se, that was so difficult, but the parallels in the subject matter with more than one member of my family. I just couldn't stop thinking about them and how much I love them. And how every day for them is about making the choice to be couragious, optimistic and happy, despite everything else.

I also couldn't stop thinking about how much I love my daughter and my husband and how important they are to me. My life is forever changed because of them and I couldn't fathom having them not a part of it. I couldn't wait to get home and wrap them in my arms and give them both a million kisses. But when I got home Sophie was asleep and dad was worn out from his night with her. She apparently felt the need to cry from the time I got to the stop sign until about 20 minutes before I got home. She hasn't had a night like that in several weeks. So instead I krept into her room and kissed her on the forehead and came to relax in bed. I've never been so excited to nurse her when she wakes up in about three hours!

This was Sophie's third week in daycare and it has been very hard not only to be away from her but to put her life in another's hands while I'm not with her. But I'm starting to realize that she is always in someone else's hands. We all are. This is something that as a new mother I am struggling with but I am trying very hard to embrace.

So, perhaps tomorrow I'll reflect on my awesome journey through pregnancy, starting with "Cashew" and "Flip Flop"...but for now, I'm going to go stare at my handsome husband.